


Take Two

by GayaIsANerd



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Noora deals with past trauma, bisexual eva
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 01:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11499312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayaIsANerd/pseuds/GayaIsANerd
Summary: Thing is, falling for Eva (or realising she had fallen for Eva a long time ago) doesn’t magically solve all of Noora’s issues.  It does make them more bearable, lighter. Like someone turned on the light in a dark room and now at least Noora can see her demons, can look them in the eye as she battles them.





	Take Two

 

 

 

After coming back from London, Noora felt lost. She felt so many things, but didn’t feel like she could share any of those things with the people in her life.

Eskild meant well, but she didn’t feel comfortable sharing what had happened with him. Vilde would understand the self-hatred Noora felt, but how could she share what had happened with her, when the shame and guilt of what she had did to Vilde still coiled in the pit of her stomach. Sana was amazing but Noora remembered their talk and although Sana didn’t know, _couldn’t have known_ , what her words had did to Noora, it still didn’t feel right discussing it with her. Chris hated talking about things like that, she would probably hug Noora, but that’s not what she needed. Eva… Noora didn’t know about Eva.

So, Noora was stuck. Stuck in her head. Back in that headspace where she felt useless, stupid, used. She didn’t like herself, she didn’t like what she had done, she didn’t like what had happened. And she carried it alone. Always alone.

Coming back from London had been both the best and worst decision Noora had made. She gotten away from him, away from the girl she was with him, but she felt lonelier than ever.

Going to London had felt like burning bridges, and now she stood in the remains. The fire still raging around her.

She told people she had left him because he was always working, because he didn’t spend time with her, because his dad came first.

She didn’t tell people that the emotional manipulation had been steadily growing worse the longer she stayed with him. How he had made her feel like he was the only one she had. She didn’t tell people that, when she couldn’t testify against his brother, he had become so mad, blaming her for what had happened, blaming her for the possibility of Nico doing this again to some other girl. Noora had imagined it happening to other girls and the guilt had become so overpowering that she wasn’t able to breathe for two days straight. And then she had run. Back to Norway. Hoping to forget.

She wasn’t able to forget, of course she wasn’t. It had been stupid and reckless and what did she think, like you could run away from your emotional state?

But she tried, she tried so hard. She let the other girls pull her back into the russebuss madness. She moved back into kollektivet. She giggled with Eskild about Isak and Even. She went out to parties and danced. She even flirted a bit. All the while she felt lost, so lost.

She heard the whispers in the hallways, the theories that were passed around. Most people seemed to think he dumped her, and she came back, heartbroken.

Noora couldn’t blame them for thinking that. William, the golden boy, being dumped by someone like her? Seemed impossible.

To be fair, she hadn’t really dumped him, she just ran. Packed her bags and left without a word.

She wanted to scream at people, scream in their faces about who he truly was. How he had manipulated her into thinking she was nothing without him. How he had made her feel like everything she said was stupid and silly.

Sometimes someone would bring him up in conversation, casually, and Noora’s heart would skip a beat. Or she would see a penetrators shirt and panicked for a second before realising it couldn’t be him.

Noora wondered what she would even tell people. How could she explain that, she, Noora, a self-proclaimed feminist and strong woman, got so sucked up in the feeling of being wanted that she forgot herself. She couldn’t explain how his attention had silenced the doubts in her head, that is, until they came back, stronger than ever and this time in his voice. Noora couldn’t possibly tell people that she got so sucked into his orbit that she didn’t even feel herself crashing down.

So, she didn’t. She kept quiet, she told the same half-truth. She swallowed the bitter pill and grieved alone and in silence.

Until she couldn’t.

*

They were at a party and for some unholy reason, penetrator Chris was there too, still sucking up to high schoolers. Eva had told her, a while ago, that she had been hooking up with him on and off. “Nothing serious” she had said, rolling her eyes at the very idea, “I don’t even think I like him. He’s just… a warm body, I guess.” Eva had giggled and Noora had felt weirdly proud of her best friend. It wasn’t the path Noora wanted to walk, but good on Eva for enjoying herself.

Although… although some part of her had been… jealous? Noora hadn’t known what to do with the feeling, so she had pushed it down, to be re-evaluated later.

Noora was sitting on the couch, next to Eva who was nursing a drink, when Chris came in. His slimy smile set Noora on edge and the instant association with William hurt but she was okay until… until she saw he was wearing that stupid penetrators shirt. And all of a sudden, that was it, that was the thing that tipped her over.

She felt the tears coming up, the bile rising in her throat and she hurried outside just in time to throw up on the grass.

“Noora?” Eva sounded soft and worried as she came outside, “Noora, what happened?”

_William happened_ Noora thought and swallowed harshly, “I’m okay.”

Eva didn’t call her out on her obvious lie but instead took her hand to guide Noora to the bench that was stood in the garden. She didn’t let go of her hand as they sat down, softly rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

“You should go back inside, you’re missing the party.”

“You’re more important than the party.”

Noora met Eva’s eyes, “Don’t you want to hook up with Chris?”

Eva rolled her eyes, “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

They locked eyes as Noora shook her head, “I want you to stay.”

“Okay.”

After a while, Noora put her head on Eva’s shoulder. They didn’t talk, just sat outside for what felt like hours, sharing body warmth.

*

“Are you in love with her?” asked Sana, catching Noora staring at Eva across the schoolyard.

Noora tries to look like she didn’t know what Sana was talking about in the face of the other girl’s rather impressive unimpressed stare.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what I am talking about. Are you or are you not in love with her?”

Noora’s face falls, as she sighs, giving up trying to hide anything from Sana. The girl was way too perceptive, she probably knew before even Noora herself knew.

“I think I am, yeah.”

“Good.”

And that was that. Sana’s stamp of approval. It meant more to Noora than she cared to admit.

*

“Are the two of you dating?” Vilde startled Noora in almost dropping her food.

She looked at Vilde in alarm before realising she wasn’t even talking to her.

“Who? Me and Chris? No, Vilde, we are not. We haven’t even hooked up in months!” Eva said. And that was new information to Noora who had thought Eva was still sleeping with Chris on a regular basis.

She didn’t mean to say anything about that but, “Really? I thought you had like, a thing with him.”

Eva looks at Noora like she had grown a second head, “No?”

“Oh.”

Noora smiles then, the wide smile reserved for Eva and the other girl ducks her head, her own smile curving around her mouth.

And Noora doesn’t know why that gives her so much hope, the simple fact that Eva isn’t currently sleeping with anyone. But it does, it gives her so much hope.

Across the table, Noora catches Sana’s smug, knowing smile and she blushes but can’t seem to find it in her to really mind getting caught.

*

Thing is, falling for Eva (or realising she had fallen for Eva a long time ago) doesn’t magically solve all of Noora’s issues. Of course it doesn’t. She still hurts whenever William is mentioned and she still sometimes cries herself to sleep thinking about what had happened.

It does, however, gives Noora hope, hope that she will get to experience love, real love, with someone as pure as Eva. With someone that will never hurt her on purpose. Someone that loves Noora like how she is supposed to be loved.

So, no, it doesn’t solve all of her problems. It does make them more bearable, lighter. Like someone turned on the light in a dark room and now at least Noora can see her demons, can look them in the eye as she battles them.

*

It’s a school night and Eva has invited Noora over to help her with her Spanish homework. Or, at least that is what Eva had told her but considering they haven’t even touched their books, Noora wonders whether that was the real reason. That’s a decidedly dangerous way to think though, leading her to wonder about Eva’s feelings for her and Noora does not want to start in on that road.

So, instead of doing homework, Noora and Eva are laying on Eva’s bed, sharing earbuds as they listen to something poppy and meaningless. And Noora _does not_ revel in the way her naked arm touches Eva’s. She _does not_ think about how it would be to reach out and push Eva’s hair behind her ear. How those locks would feel soft in between her fingers. She definitely _does not_ think about Eva’s lips and how they would fit perfectly against Noora’s own. No, not Noora.

Suddenly, Eva pulls out the earbud out of her own ear and sits up straight. She looks at Noora for a moment, not speaking. Noora follows her example and goes to sit up straight as well. They sit opposite of each other for a couple of long moments, just looking at each other.

Eva does that thing with her head that makes Noora’s heart skip several beats. The slight tilt to the left, making her look soft and approachable. Noora is once again hit with how smitten she is for her best friend.

And isn’t that a cliché? Falling for you best, straight, friend. It’s ridiculous and stupid and she’s going to get her heart broken.

Except… except Eva is looking at her with something that Noora can only describe as longing in her eyes. And, how straight can Eva be, after making out with Vilde at, at least, two parties (and ripping Noora’s heart out in the process)?

So, it’s safe to say that Noora is lost. All her self-confidence goes out of the window in the face of Eva’s soft smile. Like with William… but also, not at all like with William. William had been Noora completely losing herself, dissolving herself to make room for William and his opinions and thoughts. With Eva, Noora gets flustered and she says stupid things ( _don’t remind her of the stupid thumb she had send in that first facebook conversation, sometimes she remembers right before falling asleep and she wants to punch herself_ ) but it’s not a dissolving of herself. It’s more… becoming bigger. Instead of ruining herself to make room for the other, Eva makes her larger. Her chest cavity expands so both Eva and Noora (and everyone else Noora loves) can live in there comfortably. Loving William was becoming less, loving Eva… loving Eva is becoming everything at once.

It comes as a surprise, and also like the most normal thing in the world, when Eva bends over by the waist and slots her lips against Noora’s.

Kissing Eva has felt like nothing Noora has ever experienced before. It’s like every cliché rolled in one. It’s like heaven, like the best thing that has ever happened. Like the earth could roll of its axis and Noora wouldn’t even know. And Noora never wants it to stop.

So, when Eva slowly pulls back, Noora chases her lips, rolls them on their side. She fits her slightly smaller frame against Eva, a chill running along her spine at the feeling of Eva’s breasts against her.

When they finally break apart, Eva laughs, that breathless laugh that Noora feels in the tips of her toes. Noora smiles and smiles and smiles.

*

Walking in the schoolyard shouldn’t feel like such a big deal. In a perfect world, Noora wouldn’t feel nervous walking hand in hand with a girl. But this is not a perfect world, so, Noora is nervous.

Eva, strong, beautiful Eva, had told Noora she didn’t mind either way. She could pretend to just be friends with Noora for a while longer. Except, that is not what Noora wanted. Noora wanted to kiss Eva in front of everyone. She wanted to put a mark on Eva, telling the world that this wonderful girl was hers and hers alone.

And so, walking hand in hand in the schoolyard is exhilarating and nerve-wrecking and Noora can feel the gossip mill starting behind their backs. But, oh, it’s is so wonderful. It’s wonderful to catch Isak’s look as he watches Eva. As he and Eva share a look of shared pride for the other. It’s amazing to see Sana beaming with happiness for them. Vilde’s look, at first confused and then genuinely excited for her friends. Chris, who just high fives Eva, like Noora is the catch and not Eva herself.

 Noora is happy for the first time in a long while. Her heart sears every time she looks to her right and sees Eva there, Eva who keeps shooting her looks that get less and less subtle as the day drags on.

By the time the school day is over, Eva looks at her with such hunger in her eyes, Noora can hardly walk anymore. She had seen Eva with Jonas, she had watched Eva point those looks at him, but being in the centre of them… Noora feels like she could die right now and be pretty happy about it.

Eva takes Noora back home with her. Tells her she can wear her clothes tomorrow to school, she doesn’t mind. Noora tells her she wouldn’t mind either and both girls smile at each other, blushes high on their cheekbones.

*

Having Eva as her girlfriend is magical. Being loved this deeply, this completely, it changes Noora. It makes her smile more easily, it makes her talk more easily, it makes her love more easily.

Noora slowly starts opening up to Eva, telling her about William, about her past. And Eva listens. She listens and rubs Noora’s back and kisses the tears from her cheeks.

Loving Eva doesn’t fix Noora, but it makes it easier to carry. The nightmares aren’t as daunting when there’s Eva pulling her back into her chest, the rise and fall of her chest against Noora’s back calming her down. The mention of William’s name isn’t that painful, when she can reach out for Eva’s hand. The whispers behind their backs aren’t that scary when Noora isn’t ashamed of them, she wants people to know she shares a heart, lips and a bed with this amazing girl.

Most importantly, loving Eva makes Noora love herself again. Because, if an amazing girl like Eva could love her so completely, then there must be something good to love in her.

And whatever happens, however long this does or does not last, no one can take this feeling away from her.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this was really cathartic as Noora's relationship with Wilhelm hits quite close to home in some ways. Also, I will forever be bitter about the fact that nooreva wasn't made canon.
> 
> Thanks to the amazing, the wonderful [Vany](http://cheekyeven.tumblr.com/) for beta'ing, all other mistakes are mine! Thank you for giving me the courage to post this! <3
> 
>  
> 
> [Send me nooreva hc's on tumblr (or anything really, i'm not picky!)!](http://greathalesonfire.tumblr.com/)  
> [The post for this fic](http://greathalesonfire.tumblr.com/post/162974699884/take-two-thing-is-falling-for-eva-or)
> 
> And as always, comments and kudos feed the cats!


End file.
